Degree of my Predicament

I want your money
but I’m too sly to just tell you so
so I’ve got a sneaky plan
to coerce you
into offering it to me.
You’re never gonna know
about the hit.

I’ll start with a cough
ever so slight,
ever so frequent,
to encourage you to ask me
just what is wrong.
I’ll deny it all, of course,
but soon enough,
you’ll squeeze out of me
the degree of my predicament.

Naturally enough,
you’ll want to help,
but I won’t hear of it.
I am far too proud
to even consider
accepting your charity
especially when I’m sure
I’ll be getting my refund so soon.

But you’ll insist on providing assistance,
simply demanding that I accept your cash,
requiring that I pocket all that you have
with offers of more as necessary.
You will feel great about your largesse, proud of your Christian nature, especially knowing I’ll be able to repay
in just a few days.
The warm feeling of success
will be reward enough
for your generosity.

This is what we call win-win.
This is what I shall do
to get what I want. This
is far better than ever having to ask.

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