Please Please Please Please Please and Thank You

Please delete all the messages
I left yesterday
while your phone was off
but before you explained that fact to me.
I was in free fall,
wondering why I hadn’t heard from you
desperately waiting for your return call
– for any kind of return.

Please ignore the middle few
when I went from bewildered to angry
to fucking furious
that you could ghost me
so easily
so quickly
and with such little cause.

Please don’t bother
listening to my many guesses
as to what I did to piss you off.
You don’t need to know
what I think I did
since you weren’t pissed in the first place
right?

Please, if you can,
find it in your heart
to not look down on me
for the pathetic way I addressed you
at the end
with those final few calls
when I begged you
to come back into my life
any way you were willing to.
If you can still see me
as a masculine man
after the snot-dripping
tear-choked tone
of that last message,
I would very much appreciate it.

And please, accept this access
into my family plan
where I have unlimited hours
and you will never again have to worry
about turning off the phone
in the name of conserving minutes.

Thanks.

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