Fractimonious

What is it about me
that causes so much dysfunction
in so many directions?
I’m a good guy
occasionally polite
sporadically charming.
I have been known to be funny
on several occasions
and can discuss at least four events
that are current.
With all of that in mind
why doesn’t your daughter like me?

I can see in her eyes
that she does not enjoy my company
or see much of value
in what I have to offer.
But what I have to offer
really, is so very much.
I own over forty Michael Moorcock novels
and a catalogic knowledge of mainstream comics
from the seventies and eighties.
Frankly, my dear,
who could ask for anything more?

And still she feigns disinterest!
What is it?
What can I do?
Who can I be
to gain her attention?
I’ll offer her candy
or treats of any other sort
if she looks my way.
I’ll get her a pony to ride
or a red corvette
or whatever animal she likes to draw.
Tell me how to bridge the distance
between your daughter and me.
I’m sick of it
and really don’t want a repeat
of her fourth birthday.

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